(no subject)

[themidnightson]

He's tried. He knows he can't stay home yet, and he's already proven he can't stay there, and he's spent hours convincing himself it wasn't right to go to her like this. Especially not like this, in this state. It'd be disgraceful. Improper. Imbecilic.




Somehow he stills ends up, on his knees besides her bed, his arms crossed over her blankets at the very edge and his cheek resting on his layered hands. His body is an excruciating riot of fire from not having hunted since before the whole incident, but even in the agony of her scent he's loath to leave the first place he's felt he could breathe and think again in days. For any definition of those ideas.

And so he stays there. Not touching her for her safety, at war with his nature and his recent memories, enraptured by her slow breaths and the flicker of her eyelids and the soft words she murmurs from somewhere so very, very far away from him.

Comments

[themidnightson]

The heat of her tiny hand squeezing his was such an interesting sensation. Constant warmth without permeation. A tiny perfect part of her he'd really like to stop considering things like the average blood flow through in a minute given her medical statistics.

He tilted his head, looking back to her face at her words. He let out a breath not sure what to say to that even. He's spent so long deciding, not deciding, having to control, having to take care, and figure out.

Even here, especially here with her, he needs to keep doing it.



And it's the last thing he wants to be doing anymore.

Which he doesn't keep from his expression here.

[yesthatbella.livejournal.com]

Bella looked back at him questioningly, unsure how to take his not-quite-silence.

"... Or I could just guess every kind of trouble that I think Milliways could come up with until you tell me to knock it off?"

This suggestion was offered with a very small hint of a smile, because if she could get him to call her ridiculous then maybe she could believe everything was okay enough to be patient for a while.

[themidnightson]

"That would take you more time than you have."

He isn't sure if he means tonight, or in her life.

Which is not a though he wants to even follow through on.


"The place seems attracted to abounding laudable impossibilities."

[yesthatbella.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, but I have a really vivid imagination. I can start with the really improbable and work my way back."

It's very nearly a serious threat; just ask her about the list of wild theories she came up with in that whole month in which they didn't speak.

[themidnightson]

Bella gets an incredulous, possibly falteringly indulgent, expression.

He's very sure she could not guess what they'd been through, but he can not help wanting to know more of what she is thinking. Even if he is the cause.

[yesthatbella.livejournal.com]

Bella recognizes that expression! Hooray for at least a glimmer of normalcy?

She considers for a few moments, not overly concerned with guessing anywhere near the truth just yet. Distraction would do for now.

"Rosalie got turned into something really not cute and publicly threatened the Landlord after she got changed back, and it took your entire family to calm her down and convince Security that she was just kidding?"

She'd totally believe it of Rosalie, considering the death glare she got once for just sitting there.

[themidnightson]

Edward can't help the snort, even when it sends scalding air racing through his throat and lungs. His hands tighten so microscopically she wouldn't notice it, as he tried to stop from clenching them around what would be as easily smashed as a bubble.

"That is absurd." Which isn't cruelly, but an agreement that it is apparently vivid. (And not wholly off from some elements of prediction.)

[yesthatbella.livejournal.com]

"Told you."

Bella feels vaguely triumphant at this dubious accomplishment, though her expression turns serious shortly thereafter.

"But to be honest, I'm not sure I can actually get more believable. I just can't imagine what would threaten any of you."

[themidnightson]

"We're not invulnerable, Bella."
And wasn't she just the stunning proof of that, too.
Even at this very second, hovering over the edge of sanity.

[yesthatbella.livejournal.com]

"I know."

In theory, she does.

"It's just a little hard to conceive of something bad enough to do... whatever it's done."

It was clear that whatever had happened, it had been bad enough. But Bella tended to characterize threats as malicious outsiders, never once thinking to look any closer to home. That limited the possibilities she had to work with.

[themidnightson]

He did it really without thinking. Thinking would have stopped him. (Yet. Had it really ever before?) He reached out and brushed the tips of his fingers along her cheekbone, as if it was gossamer.

Trying to convince himself he could pull back at any second.
Trying to convince himself it would be lunacy to lean closer.

"I'll be fine. It was simply long, and surprising."