(no subject)

[themidnightson]

If he had thought it maddening to contemplate Bella's existence without it being an active part of his life, having it more present and contemplating how or why or whether it should be even more so, was only revealing that Bella Swan had only begun to show how maddening she could truly make herself.

They were home now at least. Bella's truck was back at her house. Alice was working on her computer design program. Esme was humming upstairs, blue prints and changes flickering in her thoughts. Rosalie was flipping through Tv channels. Jasper and Emmett were enmeshed in an eight board chess game.

And Edward, feeling too anxious to stand still (even it had only been the better part of two hours since he'd dropped her off), found himself seated at the grand piano he hadn't touched in so long it made him cringe. He ran his finger gently along the scales, hoping the pitch wasn't off for the disuse.

Finding it still perfectly clear and precise, with decidedly slow purchase against the keys, he began the first line of the tune he'd felt inspired to in the car.

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[themidnightson]

It was hard to just turn around and let his fingers ghost across the keys feather light as Edward restarted the piece, more confidently this time.

He was having the hardest time with controlling his lips so they didn't slip into the widest grin. Listening to her feet stalk away and hearing the threat --

If you say anything I will hunt you like a dog

-- didn't help.

He focused on the build of the harmony this time, playing a little more lively than he should have. He slipped into the softer range, focusing himself back toward it.

Conveniently as multiple people asked what was wrong.

"I don't have the faintest idea," Edward lied, in a firm whisper. It was the kind of truth you never showed anyone. Too deep, too real, too personal to the core.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Suspecting that Edward was protecting Rosalie somehow, Esme urged him to continue. "Keep playing."

[themidnightson]

Edward complied. He really didn't have an urge to do otherwise. It wasn't like he could (or wanted) to comfort Rosalie over her mistaken confession.

It wasn't her fault that he'd seen.

It was more his fault that he couldn't not see.


The music trailed onward, quiet and sure, rising at the bass came back in again. It was compelling. The gentle rise and fall of a sleeping stillness.

But something was wrong.

Something was missing.



He tried a bridge experimentally, but frowned the further it went.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme moved behind Edward, placing her hands on his shoulders, wanting desperately to focus him back on the music and not on whatever had just transpired between him and Rosalie.

"It's charming," she said. "Does it have a name?"

[themidnightson]

He didn't shiver or shift away, just listened to her words and her thoughts through the sound of the bridge warbling unpleasantly to him.

A name? He wasn't even sure where it was going. Where he was going to be when it finished.

"Not yet." There was a quite hesitance there.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"Is there a story to it?" she asked, taking great pleasure in the fact that, for whatever reason, Edward was playing again.

[themidnightson]

"It's..." He wanted to make something up. Something good enough for the joy that spread from her across his thoughts and his want for this to work. (For not managing her gift.)

His word hung in the pause as the bridge finally fit, leaning forward, pulling her hands forward with him. His head tilted slightly. Yes, that was it.

Pulling you across into another world.

Another place. Softer and smoother and almost too sweet.

It was taking on it's own story again, directing him.

"...a lullaby, I suppose."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"A lullaby," she repeated, furthering her suspicions of what -- or rather two -- had inspired Edward's return to the piano.

[themidnightson]

And then he could see it. There was a story in it.

The dark room was hers, and she was there, buffeted by the darkness of night time. The gentle pacing base rhythm like a breath, a heart beat.

Bella lay in a thin, narrow bed, in the smallest untouched strip of a world. Fragile and unknown and inescapably beautiful.

Her blankets thrown about like a tempest had tossed them about, her hair dark and wildly fanned around her, trailing across the pillow as she whispered...

[betagainstme]

Alice turned from her place at the computer (from where she had been feeding Jasper clues about how to win his game against Emmett) to watch Edward and Esme for a moment.

She stood quickly, moving to sit next to him on the piano bench, her chime-like voice vocalizing two octaves higher than the tune he played.

[themidnightson]

He scooted over on the piano bench in a perfect synchronism with Alice, letting the melody continue in his head and out through his fingers as he listened to to the sound of her voice mingling with the notes.

"I like it," Edward murmured softly.

"How about this?"

He shifted his hand over into a higher octave, drawing her line into the harmony. His hands were moving faster now, inhumanely so, with the effort to keep all of the different pieces flowing together at the same time.

Using them all not as an ends to the song, but as a means to take it even further in the direction of that sleeping figure.

[betagainstme]

Alice could see where he was trying to go, and she changed her voice to match his tune and tempo.

[themidnightson]

Except that until that moment he hadn't been positive on the where it would go and end up, until suddenly, between the piano notes and Alice's voice, he could.

He could see where all of this had to end -- the music and girl so soundly in her bed bed, unknowing and unknown -- and his chest ached as though something exploded inside of it.

She was already perfect the way she was.

There wouldn't be any changing her.

None of it could be now.


There would be no change to the song's slowly mournful notes that poured out of his fingers without him meaning to dip to the lower register. He could do nothing but follow both of them now to where they must end.

[betagainstme]

Alice let her voice grow somber, matching the tone of his music. Her hands folded in her lap and she watched his fingers move across the keys.

As Edward finished playing, she pressed her lips together, watching both mother and brother.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme reached over and stroked Edward's hair, grateful for his mind-reading ability so she didn't need to speak her thoughts out loud.

It's going to be fine, Edward. This is going to work out for the best. You deserve happiness, my son. Fate owes you that.

[themidnightson]

Those were a funny word to hear roll through the piano music still playing on in his thoughts. But still the strength of Esme's thoughts were compelling.

"Thanks," he said, near silently.

Fine. Best. Happiness. Fate. He was only in love with the one person who was literally designed for him to kill.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Even though Esme wasn't a mind reader, Edward's thoughts were fairly clear.

Love doesn't always come in convenient packages.

[themidnightson]

The laugh had come out of his mouth before he could even feel it starting. His lips clamped hard against the wry, humorless sound that wouldn't have been missed by such good ears as his family.

He tucked his head, looking at the keys still under his fingers.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme patted his shoulder.

You, out of everyone on this planet, are perhaps best equipped to deal with such a difficult quandary. You are the best and brightest of us all.

It was obvious that Esme truly believed that. She was still bubbling with joy from Edward composing again.

[themidnightson]

All mothers said such things to their children.

No. That was unkind. Esme was not like every other mother in the world, even in parallels. He shouldn't have laughed. He shouldn't be dropping his bleakness about impossibilities on her.

In Esme's mind he'd already crossed the greatest one. She'd gotten to used, but never content, with the idea he might be alone forever even among them. Always wondered if it had to do with being changed younger than everyone else.

He wanted to think it would have been better if her opinion and his nature were unchanged (Bella's face, long hair tangled against the pillow, whispering his name) but he'd rather place his hand in fire than relinquish even the stolen memories now.

Edward sighed at the illogic state of it all.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

She'll have to love you back. If she's a bright girl, Esme thought while favoring Edward with a smile. But I can't imagine anyone being so slow they wouldn't see the catch you are.

Esme had always known that there was someone special out there for Edward. It was just a matter of him finding her.

[themidnightson]

"Stop it, mom," Edward said, with a quiet chagrined over layered with fondness as he shook his head while a sly, crooked smile curled his lips.

The mom specifically had a teasing emphasis as did the words that followed it. "You're making me blush."

Whether he believe or not, he refused to bring her down into the depths of his thoughts on it. But he did reluctantly admit that her joy made it feel easier, as though something right and good was coming from this. Somehow.

[betagainstme]

Alice stared between her brother and mother for a moment laughing and placing her fingers on the keys. She picks the top hand of "Heart and Soul," grinning at Edward.

[themidnightson]

He'd say she was incorrigible, but she was Alice and she was the perfect distraction from having to find something distracting to Esme's next comment. He grinned and fell into place under her piece, completely the simple harmony.

When it finished, moved more by her enjoyment, something he caused much too less frequently since all this started, his hands didn't leave the keys. There was a glance and smirk for her as he started playing Chopsticks.

[betagainstme]

She giggled, her hands in her lap as she watched his fingers pound the keys. After he was done, she sighed. "So, I wish you'd tell me what you laughing at Rose about...but I can see that you won't."


:(

[themidnightson]

He let his eyes focus on the keys, but there was a tug at the corner of his lips. It might have been both a smile and a frown. As much as it was inane it was also intimately Rosalie's.

"Nope."

[betagainstme]

>(




Alice flicked Edward's ear with her finger. Pfft.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"Alice, be nice," Esme said, bemused by the two acting like typical teenagers for once. "Edward is being a gentleman."

[betagainstme]

Alice kicked her feet slightly, flailing a bit, whining. "But I want to know."

[themidnightson]

Edward chuckled under his breath as Chopsticks came to a close. He could see that he wasn't going to change any time soon, and even without seeing that he would or wouldn't it wasn't his place to divulege a secret that personal.

A secret she'd actually managed to keep from him this long.

As the notes faded, he smiled in spite of the logical contrast in his thoughts. He felt lighter with their voices and thoughts around him, calmer than the last weeks.

"Here, Esme." He started playing her favorite piece that he'd written. It was still untitled decades on decades later, a tribute to Esme and Carlisle's love that defied any words that might label it.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, dear," Esme said, squeezing Edward's shoulder again and listening to the beautiful melody.

[themidnightson]

Edward played on through the piece that he knew perfectly. His hands moved of their own accord as he let himself dwell on the revelation Rosalie's slip had afforded him.

[betagainstme]

Alice watched his hands, idly lost in thought herself until something demanded notice from her. Her eyes unfocused on Edward's hands and flashes --

Peter and Charlotte, Forks, Jasper

-- went through her mind and she gasped. "Oh! Jasper, guess what!"

[themidnightson]

Edward tensed as the images flooded his mind, shoulder muscles bunching. The notes didn't strain or change, but he was already beginning to frown when Alice spoke.

[keptherwaiting.livejournal.com]

Jasper glanced in Edward's direction, a small frown accompanying the look, at the sudden tension coming from his brother before he focused on his game with Emmett once more. "What, Alice?"

[betagainstme]

She turned to focus on her husband, a smile on her face. "Peter and Charlotte are coming to visit next week! They're going to be in the neighbourhood, isn't that nice?"


yayyyy!